The next GOOG or AAPL

6 Mar

…Well this is little more than Engrish in overdrive. I read the whole thing with a raised eyebrow.
I love the fact they mention Google and Apple and fail miserably.

 

The name of the spammer is Isaura Planas Arderiu and it was sent from the email fernpercival@hotmail.com with the title “re”. Don’t be fooled, play it safe, and don’t do drugs.

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Once i got into the market, i liked to look online for upcomming companies and there innovations, and what not to keep up on the Technology hoping for a next GOOG or AAPL. I’ve seen alot of places that reco or state what they think is great coming up. Although i didn’t see anything that great. Until i stumbled on This Newsletter I watched it for a few weeks to get my feet wet, then i felt aconfident, and ever since i started investing in some of there symbs, i have been turning around 260% ROI. check em out atleast!

And now for more religious ramblings

28 Feb

I don’t really know what to say to this. It’s an old school rambling chain letter but there are just so many odd lines that creep up out of nowhere (like the candle bit, seeing as there was no mention of a candle nor were there any pictures of one).  It’s like they took 5 pieces of spam and clumsily stuck them together before deciding to send it on to random people they can find the details of.

Bots confuse me.
This bot is called Bas Hendrikx and sent the email from webersantoro@hotmail.com. Don’t be tricked or panic that you must forward this email. Just delete and back away slowly from the crazy.

 

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hiya…..I just got a new msnn name you should add me on there
message me on madison22may@hotmail.com cant wait to talk to you sexy xoxo
 

This is pretty neat!

It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… All before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We’re such slow learners…
God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!
God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the res earch shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents c ervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Please don’t break this even if you only send it to one person. Look at the date when this was s tarted. Thanks
 
NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED.
GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS.
I am not going to be the one who Lets it die. I found it believable —
 
This candle was lit on the 15th of September, 1998.
Someone who loves you has helped Keep it alive by sending it to you.
Don’t let The Candle of Love, Hope And Friendship die! Pass It On To All
Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love!
I received this today for the 1st time and I hope it comes back someday again.
Please keep this candle alive!
 

in my own study, and I took care to stand where I could seize
 
wherein my dexterity was much admired. whether our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as

At last, in obedience to his will she made reply

21 Feb

It seems that spam emails are upping their game when it comes to attached messages. I love the title of the attached message for this typical money spinning spam.

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my dad was going over things i can do to earn some xtra money, one of which he forwarded this *link*. After just 2 days i was making like 50-75$ a hour!!

_________________________

Fwd: Saturday, February 19th, 2011 2:59 pm

Subject: re At last, in obedience to his will she made reply.

It rises during the closing ceremony, at the moment when stagecraft fades and the simplest of uman acts begins. The athletes walk in.
seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to[A description of the farmer’s daughter. The author carried to a
That’s it: They walk into some stadium, as they did again Sunday evening at Vancouver’s B.C. Place to end the 2010 Winter Games, and the clearest picture of what the Olympics means emerges. Young people who have spent the months serving as civic heroes, national symbols, stand-ins for millions, become young again. Unlike the opening ceremony tradition of marching in national delegations in strict order, under a flag, at the closing men and women who have sweated against each other for weeks, sometimes years, walk out in an easy jumble, and soon mix, stand and dance until all national colors and flags become irrelevant.
a man to eat molecules with a pair of chopsticks, as to tryThe late Mr. Thomas Cardew, an old gentleman of a very charitable and kindly disposition, found me, and gave me

He Argued Quietly

14 Feb

Sent by the lovely Mohamad Zahiruddin Afiq from his email account bobo_ravex I was ready to send this straight to the trash as standard spam. However that attached message made me raise an eyebrow.

Just general spam WTFness at its finest.

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with my paychecks dwindling down to the last minute it was a miracle i had received this link *link* to Channel 11 News,

they helped me turn my 5 figure income into 6!
__________________________

Forward Message: Saturday, February 12, 2011 9:16 am

Subject: re I scolded him for it, but he argued quietly that it was very good and An information network

Twitter is a real-time information network that connects you to the latest information about what you find interesting.
Simply find the public streams you find most compelling and follow the conversations.
“My child, there is such an one if it were for your good.

I’m a Chinese Girl

8 Feb
This is a short message from a Chinese girl… no name, just “a Chinese girl”. After three years she will come to the UK and we will marry (I added the last part).
 
 
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Nice to meet you!I’m a Chinese girl.
After three years,I will go to the UK for study.
My English is very poor,so I hope you can help me.
If you like, I can teach you Chinese. 😀
Waiting for your reply!

Same last name? How about a few million?

8 Feb

I was starting to sweat a little, it seemed the spam well had dried up. THEN, looking in a section of my emails I never venture to I found the treasure trove.

This email is from Barrister Lazarus Okeke. A slightly grim take on the “you can receive huge amounts of inheritance” spam. 

Apparently all you need for inheritance is the same surname. I wish that were true. 
I personally like how I am not even given a title, just called Claxton. It makes me sound like a mercenary.

“What should we do sir?”
“Send in Claxton”…

================================

Dear Claxton ,

I am Barrister Lazarus Okeke ,a solicitor at law, personal attorney to Mr.P.B Claxton ,a national Of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2007, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along Nouvissi express Road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts to locate his real relatives, I decided to contact you since you have the same last name with my late client. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the fund valued at US$8.5 million left behind by my client before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this huge amount were deposited.

The said Security Finance Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confiscated within the next twenty one official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.

Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim.

All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.

I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
I await your respond.

Contact me in my email Address (barrlazarusokeke01@yahoo.com)

barr.Lazarus Okeke,

Spam Illustrated

4 Feb

As I was plugging away the blog on Twitter I received a reply from a brilliant illustrator called Rachel Lewis.

She has taken her (dis)like of spam and made it into an illustration project. Although there are only a handful what is there is great.

http://rachelsayshello.com/portfolio/the-nonsensical-spam-comment-project/

Do you like car rims?

====================

In other spam related news a friend forwarded me with the title of some spam he received the other day:
“You will love the results on your organ”
… it may be short and sweet (the email, I have no knowledge of his organ) but it made me chuckle.

Dear President

3 Feb

Matthew A. sent this in. He assures me that he is not (and never has been) a president and this was definitely a mistake by the sender.

He did not deny whether he was in business for friction material products though.

==============================================

‘Dear President ,

We got from some sources that perhaps you are in business for friction material products!

Please allow to introduce my professional factory for you .

We are a professional factory for friction material products.

We have been producing in brake pads, shoes and lining,bronze material, steel material, paper material, iron material, carbon and graphite material for cars, motorcycles, heavy-duty truck, buses and bicycle, Construction Machinery, Forklifts, Agricultural Machinery, Marine Gearboxes, Cars, Motorbikes, Race Cars and other Vehicles. etc.

Friction Materials include sintered copper/semi-metallic, no-asbestos, paper material,steel mating,ceramic fiber all fall within our category for consumers to choose. For now, we export out products to North and South America, Europe, the Middle East and Africa–more than 60 countries source from us and our annual sales exceed $10 million.

Matching American SAE, German VOLKSWAGEN TL-110 and Japanese JASO
Our company adopts the most advanced brake production line equipment and foreign most perfect crafts and the technology. So the products conform to the standards of American SAE, Germany VOLKSWAGEN TL-110 and Japanese JASO. Besides, we have passed the Quality System Authentication ISO 9000 in 2008 and CE,SGS certificate as well.

30 Experienced Technicians and Engineers Handle Innovation
Since the establishment, we have been devoting to the developing and manufacturing of brake pad. At present, we have owned R&D department and quality control center, which consist of 30 experienced technicians and engineers, by which we can develop products according to samples of consumers and drawings in short period.

For any further details ,please contact with us !

Jack/Manager
Zhejiang Zhongda Manufacturing Group limited
Factory Address: No.6 factory,Linpin District, Hangzhou City,310014,China

Email: frictiondisc@gmail.com
Email: frictiondisc@manufacturing-group.com
Email: frictionplate@manufacturing-group.com
Email: frictionmaterial@manufacturing-group.com

Telephone: 0086-0571-63903907
Fax: 0086-0571-56277060-3970’

Portable Wood Burning Oven

3 Feb
I obtained this as Christmas drew near in 2009. I found it so amusing that I decided to keep hold of it. A touching story from a woman called Elena, not asking for money at all… just the delivery of a rather odd item.
====================================================
Greetings,

My name is Elena, I’m 32 year and I write you from Russian province. I work in town bibliotheca and I provided to use computer when I finish work if allowed. Our postiion is very difficulty and I decide write to you this message in despair.

I have little daughter, she is 8 years old, her father leaved us and we live with my mother.

As effect of deep crisis recently my mother lost job (a market where she was worked is now closed) and our situation became horrify.

Prices for gas and electricity is very high in our region and we unable use it to heating our home any more.

It is very cold already in our town and weather become colder each day. We are much disturbed and we have not experience what to do.

Now we can use the only one way to heating our home – it is to use portable wood burning oven which provide heat with burning wood (fire). We have enough wood in our town and this oven will provide heat for our sleeping room all winter with minimal cost.

We urgent need this oven, but we cannot purchase it in our local shop because it cost 8192 rubles (equivalent of 191 Euro) and we can not afford it.

If you possess any old portable wood burning oven and if you finished to use it, we will be very happy if you can give it to us and organize shipping of this oven to our address (170 km from Moscow). That oven can be different , they can be constructed from cast iron and weight 100 – 150kg.

I hope to hear from you back.

Elena with family.
Russia